Knowledge Sucks

I always hated those people that thought that any knowledge they had, no matter how insignificant, was by some divine consequence theirs and theirs alone. They hide it and worship it like some deranged source of power and use it whenever possible to gain advantage over others. Or hoard it for the sake of hoarding it under the guise of 'safe keeping' or 'security'. It was even a topic for discussion in school. "You will notice when you get into the IT world, any data that someone has becomes their source of power. Even if it's not even really theirs." What is this? I never understood and I could see it happening all around me.

At the same time, we resent those that vomit any little knowledge they might have with no rhyme or reason. Is it just the excitement of discovery and an overwhelming desire to share it? Inattention to social norms concerning communication? Blatant lack of regard for the world in general? Bold-faced "I'm better than you and I can prove it" bragging? Who knows?

Hopefully without approaching the word vomit threshold, I've always tried to share knowledge and not stockpile it like some type of fiend. And to listen when others had ideas to share. But then one day I experienced the devastating realization that people aren't always ready to hear things. They either use it against you, or don't understand and get upset, or go in the complete wrong direction with it. They were better off without it and now look what you've done.

I can't argue that knowledge is power. But used tactfully and thoughtfully. Not with the delicacy of a Neanderthal. But I suppose it's just another one of those things to put on the list. The "don't be that girl" list. I can't change people but at least I can avoid being like them.

Breaking up

I was talking to Stepharoo in the kitchen last night as we often do. And I realized it's probably the last time she and I will sit and talk in our kitchen together. Our house is breaking up. Steph and Nik are moving to NYC and Lauren's off to who knows where. She and I stood among the boxes and she told me about her theory on making friends out of necessity. You know, when you make friends because you have to especially when you move to a new place. But sometimes those friends turn out to be people you want to be friends with anyway. People who you'll always have in your life no matter what. She's one of those friends. She figured it out before I did. She's right, it's like breaking up, only worse. Losing a boyfriend doesn't suck this bad.

I'm really going to miss her. It's all my fault she's leaving. I was the one that decided to move across the country. Or maybe it's Paul's fault. If he weren't such a #*&^$ landlord we might still be living there. But in all honesty it's been an amazing thing for her. She got a great new job and she's moving to an awesome city. And we'll still see each other. It just won't be in our kitchen late at night...

What am I going to do without her?

Detox - What an education.

As many of you know, I've been struggling my way through a voluntary detox for the past ten days. And I must say it's been an eye opener. It's not a drug or alcohol detox or anything like that. It's just a general toxin detox and organ flush to get rid of all the nasty stuff we eat and expose ourselves to every day. My three roommates and I were turned on to the idea by one of our coworkers who is into all kinds of alternative health practices.

Now I considered myself to be a healthy person. Above average in many areas and excellent in others. And I was raised in a relatively alternative family. My parents are chiropractors, I never had any vaccinations growing up, never went the the medical doctor, never took antibiotics or painkillers, always suffered through colds and sicknesses with vitamins, was raised on unpasteurized milk, etc. You get the idea. Living on my own I've tried to continue all of these healthy practices.I moved in with three other girls last fall and we shop at whole foods and Trader Joe's always buying organic veggies and free range chicken and beef with no antibiotics. All that stuff. We only drink bottled or filtered water, most of us take vitamins every day, and we all go the gym all the time. So Steph gets this detox idea from her coworker. And we all jump on the bandwagon.

It goes something like this...

Morning Supplements: Vitamin C in water, non-toxic clay, psyllium husk, probiotic, and liver cleansing herbs.

Breakfast: Rice protein shake with fruit, flax seeds, and borage oil
Lunch: Rice Protein shake and 1/2 cup brown rice
Dinner: Steamed veggies and fish and beans*Veggie Broth can be consumed anytime and you can have up to 4 rice protein shakes a day.
Evening Supplements: same as morningSo, you pretty much eat veggies, rice protein, fish and broth.

There are a couple other things allowed but that's about it. No salt, tomatoes, corn, peppers, animal protein, soy, dairy, and a huges list of other stuff. It's surprisingly filling although a bit unsatisfying and boring. And there's lots of yoga and sauna time and hot and cold showers.

So I thought I'd breeze right through this with little or no trouble. But I've been experiencing all these crazy symptoms. All normal, but so shocking to me. I thought I was so healthy! And it's made me think... a lot.

You see those organic cafe's and restaurants and stores. And they have all kinds of crazy food. And you just think they are there for people who are just crazy. Or love animals too much to eat meat. Or just want to be weird. But these people are aware of how to eat and be good to their body. And they have all of these positive affects from this effort and awareness. It makes me feel so naive! And I was even raised "organically," I should understand this lifestyle more than most. I guess it's just another education. That's what life is supposed to be all about really. Live and learn. I'm not sure yet what my life will be like post-detox, but I hope to find a good balance of healthy food, and exercise, and positive thinking. I sound like a hippie. But you really don't need to be a hippie to be healthy. It's something everyone should get a chance to experience. But it's scary. Not easily undertaken. And definitely work to stick with. I wish I had done it sooner!

Depressed much?

Did you ever get the feeling you were missing out? Like there was something everyone else took for granted but that you just couldn't figure out? Sometimes I feel like there's something there. But I can't see it. Something begging me to recognize it. But here I sit oblivious to its presence. Or maybe I know exactly what's calling to me. I just don't think that's what I'm searching for. The answer has to be great and noble, but it seems ordinary and typical so I brush right by. What a way to waste life. Nothing is too small. Nothing too trivial. Appreciate everything. Life doesn't owe you a damn thing. It will pass you by if you let it.