I don't like bachelorette parties and I can't quite put my finger on what the problem is. I suppose I am of two minds on this issue.
If I were friends with a group of females (yes I know, just pretend because in reality this will only happen for fleeting moments). But anyway, if I were friends with a group of females that I liked to do things with and one of us were getting married, it would be just one more excuse for a party. "Congratulations on the choices you're making!! He's so great we're so excited for you!!" This I'm okay with.
But every coin has two sides. Being who I am and not really having a group of female friends, the bachelorette parties I've experienced are dumb. "Let's celebrate your last few days of being single." It's sort of like "well, if you insist on throwing your life away we may as well throw you one last party". Why do people do this? If you love being single so much, why don't you stay that way??
The term that comes readily to mind now to describe my attitude is Grinch. I am okay with this.
I'm not a huge fan of bachelorette parties for a few reasons.
First, bachelorette is not a word. This irritates me. Of course, it's slang and we use it as a word, but the proper term would be bacheloress. It's puzzling to me why we would not use this term instead. I find it highly preferable. Perhaps too much like heiress? We can all thank Ms. Hilton for that negative connotation. Arguably, the only reason I even know about the term bacheloress is because of Wiki. So maybe I just need to disseminate.
Hey ladies, let's use bacheloress instead of bachelorette, 'kay?
Number two reason why I hate bachelorette parties. In many cases, the goal is to get the female in question intoxicated beyond any hope of recollection. Vomiting is actually a plus. "That just means she had a good time!" I beg to differ. In my world, vomiting does not equal fun. I like to drink but why should overdoing it be the central focus of the evening??
Third. I'll just lump them all into this last category; Strippers, prostitutes, and offering your friend up as a piece of meat to give her one last whatever. Duh. I hate this idea beyond any practical description. Your friend is getting married. She does not want to make out with some random guy at the bar nor see over-oiled guys taking their clothes off. And she definitely is not dreaming of living happily ever after as man, wife and STD. Yuck.
I'm not a total stick in the mud. When I go out I like to be crazy and have fun. And I'm all for girls having a party to congratulate their friend's change of status. I just think there are ways to do it, and ways not to. I can handle the games. Pin the cucumber on the hunk is dumb, but harmless. The genitalia paraphanalia isn't so bad. It's pretty much standard these days albeit completely crude. I guess I just don't like what the tradition has come to mean. It should be a celebration of finding love. Not a test of will and confidence in one's decision or kissing one's freedom goodbye as it were.
The party I attended this past weekend had exactly none of the things that make me despise bachelorette parties. The bachelorette was pregnant, so very little booze. The venue was a comedy club, not a strip club. And the girls were all pretty good company. I was exceedingly grateful for all of this but it did nothing for my foul mood. I still felt incredibly depressed and impatient about the whole thing.
It wasn't the girls, they were sweet. The bachelorette is incredibly friendly and fun to be around. There were surprisingly few of the requisite comments about what the boys must be doing. It was just kind of a downer for my mood. I guess it was just depression by association. It's difficult to break through stereotypes and past experiences.
I'm not some kind of bitter single woman still in search of Mr. Right. Nor am I of the smuggly married variety criticizing those who have not chosen my path. I just want to appreciate my single life for the precious experience it is and also to welcome my married life for the sacred union it will be.
Call me crazy, I just want a more meaningful tradition. That or maybe I just had a huge chip on my shoulder last Saturday and I just need to snap out of it.
