Alright, so I want to be a nice person. But I don't want to be walked upon. But what happens when I have to choose? I mean, I can try to be nice while in fact telling someone not to walk all over me. But am I really being nice? And would it be nice if I let them walk all over me and just fumed about it??
People do dumb stuff. And sometimes when you say "hey, that was dumb" they get upset. So either, you let them do dumb stuff that affects you, or you say "stop it" and risk them getting upset.
I find that I have to decide whether or not the person is important to me. And then decide if I can prevent their stupidity from affecting me without actually having to confront them. Cuz, well, I'm not your mother. Grow the F up and stop being dumb. It's not my job to coddle you. But if they're someone I care about, then it becomes important to confront them, yet be as kind as possible, so that our friendship can outlast the current conflict.
But is it fair to stop caring about someone in order to avoid having to be nice to them? Weird question, I know, but I wonder this. Because I have de-friended people because it just seems stupid to sit there and boost their ego when they're the ones that F-ed up and really they just need to grow up and I never really cared that much in the first place. What if that were me? Honestly? I'd rather someone not have to cradle my ego and walk on egg shells around me because I was a little pipsqueek and couldn't handle a little criticism.
I have also de-friended people because I was forced to 'play nice' rather than listen to them whine about how I criticized them as I would a person I truly cared for and wanted to resolve conflict with.
Basically? I'd rather not be friends with you if I can't tell you something that bothered me without you having a tantrum that requires me to kiss your ass. Right? Problem. Discussion. Solution. Done.
