I have relatively long hair right? Yeah. So that means it's everywhere. And I mean everywhere. All over the bathroom, embedded in the threads of my towel, randomly scattered about in my bed, matted into the back of my chair at work, in the crease of the seat in my car. I could take a rake to the carpet in my room. It's that bad. You may not see it, but further investigation proves it's there. Beards are the best. It's like Velcro minus the cool Velcro sound.
Scott once did an impression of my rogue strands of hair as though they were a seal team piling out of a helicopter or something. "Okay guys, I'll cover you now go! Go! Go! Go!" He also threatened to make a hair doll out of the massive collectiveness that was once attached to my head. It's sort of a shocking amount that I lose on a daily basis.
This becomes most evident when I take a shower. I don't know at what point in my life I determined that the heinous amounts of hair I lost in the shower each day were bad for the drain. But I did. Maybe it was all the Drano I had to buy in order to unclog the shower. So instead of letting the water wash the bastards away I started to stick them to the wall in the shower. Otherwise they just stick to everything. It's like a ton of mini boa constrictors wrapping themselves around your body. Not to mention the ones that find their way into your butt. Yep, hair gets caught in your butt crack. Ask anyone with long hair. And there are worse places, but I won't mention them here.
Okay where was I? Right, the shower wall. So I've been doing this for several years now, sticking all of my loose hairs to the wall. And when I'm done I run my finger through them and scoop them neatly into the trash. I, for one, thought it was brilliant. No clogs, less hair everywhere, what's not to like? Well, there is the occasional morning where I may have forgotten to neatly scoop my hairs into the trash. And the lucky person to shower after me was, shall we say, horrified. Can't blame them. It's like other people's dirt. Nasty.
I once got into the shower to find I had left my hair on the wall, and Scott had written my name in it. Yuck. But he eventually got used to it. Poor guy.
