Who needs crack?

There has been much discussion in recent months over whether the corn 'salsa' at Chipotle is spicy. I think it's mildly spicy which, for me, is just about right. There are those, not to be named or "those we do not speak of", who would disagree.

I mention this so when I try to explain to you that I will never need or have any desire for crack or any other mind-altering drug, perhaps you will have some standard by which to guage my level of mentality.

My life is freaking hilarious. Probably not to you, but I find the smallest most inconsequential moments ridiculously funny. I will frequently burst into laughter at highly inopportune moments and generally drag others down into my pit of raging lunacy. But all-in-all, I believe those close to me find my shenanegans humorous and enjoyable.

On the list of brilliantly humorous crack-substitutes for the time being:

• My amazing friend and partner in crime Monkey Momma.
• My roommate E-dog. (She has opposable thumbs by the way.)
• My last roommate Stepharoo who ditched me to live in NY.
• Napoleon Dynamite. Truthfully, I think the movie sucks but I laugh at it more now than just about anything else. Hell no I won't marry you, GOSH!
• The End of the World: this has been at the core of my humor for many years now. Fucking Kangaroos.

By all means, share your tomfoolery. What's in your crack?