Voice

Before I set out along the blogging path I had a few things to consider. When I blog, everyone can read it. And when I post something, it's forever a matter of public record, whether I keep it posted or not.

A) Am I ready for that? Do I want my life plastered across the Internet? Chances are very few people will read me, but it's those few that matter most.

B) Do I have anything interesting to say?

C) I'm bound to get criticism. Can I handle it?

Concerning A, ready or not, I went for it. I thought it would be a great learning experience, and it has been; for me and for those I love. And furthermore, getting my life out there was precisely the point. Really I wanted those that aren't next door or upstairs anymore to be able to keep up with the goings-on in my life. And me with theirs, although they have yet to start blogging. (hint, hint)

I think I decided B didn't matter. It's for me to get my thoughts out. And if someone else gets something out of it or learns something about me, great!

And C, if I can't take a little criticism, I have no place being an adult much less a blogger. Sooo, here I am.

Now to the point. Voice. Small (or loud and obnoxious) but important. I think sometimes when I write it sounds preachy. I don't mean for it to. If I'm preaching, it's most certainly at myself for the multitude of mistakes I have made and will continue to make, and for the chest of flaws I continue to lug around with me. My intent is to be interesting and perhaps theatrical to some degree, but I may have missed the mark. (By a mile). So I wanted to say I'm aware of this rut I have found myself in and how annoying it is, and I'm trying to find a way out. I also wanted to apologize for any discomfort it may cause you in trying to stay abreast in the chronicling of my life.

Finally, if you have suggestions, I didn't major in creative writing or anything resembling it. I'm sure I could use a pointer or ten, and I'm certain my punctuation is screaming for help.

Regardless, It's all in the learning. Please bear with me, help is on the way!

Things are going well

I'm following the plan and everything is generally headed in the right direction. I still want to move out West in the spring. For now I'm busting my butt on this project trying to meet deadlines and rollout a kick-ass site. Trying to limit my days in the office to 6 so I can get out and do things. Still teaching classes so that gets me in the gym a minimum of three days a week. My knee is healing, slowly but surely. Things look good.

Today we got our monthly email from corporate with our leave balance. It's in hours. I have 203.5 sick and 127 vacation. That's over five weeks in sick leave and more than three weeks in vacation time. Not to mention I've racked up 121 hours in comp time. Not payable to me if I were to leave, so I have to use them before spring.

The vacation time will be mine in a paycheck when I check out so I'm not concerned, and I never really use sick time so that's fairly irrelevant. But I rack up comp time at a considerable rate and don't have many opportunities to use it. I'm a bit worried it's going to get sucked into the black hole where socks and $20 bills go.

The site is going to probably go strong through November before it starts to taper off, so not much hope of using any large chunks of comp time before then. And a new site usually requires some considerable TLC for the 6 months following rollout, not to mention Version 2. Holy hell.

I do need to take a couple of trips out West before the big move, but I may need to switch to negotiator mode. See if I can bargain for tacking my "comp time" at the very end of my employment here. That would be sweet. It's all about how I play my cards.

Or, knowing my super-cool-kick-butt boss, he might just say "of course you can!" He rocks.

Expectations

Set them too low and you're not giving yourself or anyone else a chance. On the other hand, setting them too high sets you up for disappointment. So there must be some happy medium. Hermit-hood is probably not the solution. It's easier than facing reality, but it doesn't get you where you most need to be.

1. We all screw up. Some of us more than others. Me more than most. So you'd think I'd be very amenable to giving people second chances. Or 25th chances, whatever the case may be. But there comes a point when I just don't have much more left to give. They may deserve another chance, but I leave it to someone else to give them that. If only I could go quietly.

2. Just because one person sucked, doesn't mean everyone will. I recoiled today at the site of a new girl in our office. She looks to be about 20 and in the space of 5 miliseconds I thought to myself "No way, not again. I am not going to risk myself for some new girl who might seem like a nice person only to turn around and stab me in the back. No thanks." But then I had to scold myself. She hasn't done anything. It's not her fault those that came before her failed to meet my expectations. See 3.

3. Just because I was foolish enough to expect a little maturity and responsibility doesn't mean I'm going to get it. I am wrong to expect things from others and be angry that they don't live up to my expectations. Arguably, you would expect things out of those you care about. But rather than anger at their failure, it would behoove you to encourage them or at the very least sympathize. Or realize you are expecting too much.

My expectations of others are too high. I give them as many chances as they need. But then comes my breaking point. And once that is reached, redemption is almost impossible. I am as unforgiving as the sea. There I sit in my anger and disappointment, and nobody is hurt but myself. The 'offender' deems me certifiable, and we've both lost. It's not 'nice' to deal out chances like cards. Nothing is gained, nothing learned. Place your bets. If you want another chance, I ask that you understand the stakes.

Saving Grace

I've been carrying around a lot of anger lately. And it hasn't really gotten any better. Then last night I had a small confrontation with aforementioned roommate wherin she asked "is there a problem?" Ha! Apparently I did not show the appropriate joy at her return to the world of the living. My best guess is the only reason she started speaking was so she could ask me to stay out of the kitchen so she could bring guy number who-knows-what over for dinner-plus. (I started numbering them a while back. There are just way too many to try to remember names. I'd probably call them by the wrong name anyway. Funny, but bad.)

Anyway, after being angry with her all night and waking up this morning just as angry, if not more so, I had to put my foot down. This simply will not do. Unacceptable. I don't like being angry. I don't want to be angry. And she is clearly not worth it. Honestly, there are very few things in this world worth getting angry about.

So this morning while I was waiting in line for my coffee (Starbucks of course), still writhing in anger, I looked over the front page of the Post. "Hezbollah Raid Opens 2nd Front for Israel". More about war. And I thought to myself "you know, I can understand the anger that might make someone want to go to war. It may not be right but I can imagine the depth of hate that could breed that type of action." And for a moment, I felt better.

And then, like a lightbulb flicking on inside the dark caverns of my thoughts, I realized this is another lesson. People like her are a blaring example of cause and effect. A warning if you will.

Mothers say to their children "do you see why you need to take responsibility for yourself?" And the wided-eyed children stare in horror..

Therapists tell us to stay away from these "negative" people. They do nothing but create conflict.

Friends finally give up when every effort they have made to reach out has been tossed aside. They care, but what more can they do? They then resolve to be better friends next time as though it was somehow their fault.

And I, I learn a valuable lesson of choice. Don't let her control you. Instead allow her to teach you.

Perhaps I exaggerate. But honestly, she is not the threat I have allowed her to be. She is an example. She is helping people by setting a negative example. And that is the most charitable thing I can say about her.

I'm afraid to imagine what she may have done in a past life to have been born into this one. And I even venture to wonder what it is her soul is striving to teach her. Like a car wreck perhaps; morbid fascination.

My anger has always plagued me, and may one day be the death of me. But perhaps this will be my saving grace. It's only been since this morning, but I feel release. Finally, sweet release from the clutches of my anger. And now I strive to remember this the next time I feel the fire burning deep within me. And perhaps one day I will look back and say a silent thank you.

Perhaps it's not explicitly applicable, but for me, this may be my choice, my path, the moment that changed my life.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

~Robert Frost

It ain't all bad

Sometimes it seems that all I write about are negative things. I'm really not that negative. At least that's what I tell myself. Writing is just my stress relief. So you may tend to see the darker, more intrusive thoughtful stuff more so than "hey, guess what happened!!"

It's sort of odd how much I read my own blog. Despite the fact that I (once again) tell myself I hate reading what I write. Heh, and I don't really like reading the negative stuff. I guess it hits me harder. Or I just notice it more. So I try to write something cheery and fun! Inevitably though, more stress hits and I have to get it out. Ah well. Just one more rationalization to add to the pile. Where would I be without them?

I don't know anyone who could get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations...... Ever gone a week without a rationalization?

~ The Big Chill

Dirty Laundry

I have a roommate I haven't seen in six weeks. She's home a lot. But she never comes out of her room. Ever. Either I'm an evil b*tch and did something insanely mean to her, or there's something really wrong with her.

So here's where I struggle. I'm sure she's nice girl. But she's just not the type of person I could develop any lasting friendship with. Her interests and mine are vastly different. I mean, at this point I'm not entirely sure she would remember my name if it weren't on the check I write to her for the electric bill every month. I'm sort of a fourth or fifth class citizen in her world behind dogs and the cute boy she saw at cvs last week.

I really never had a huge problem with this. We were cordial, and mildly chit-chatty, and other than that sort of just lived our separate lives. Worked pretty well. But this whole disappearance thing is bizarre. I figured she needed a little space. Lots of stuff going on in her life. Cool. Go for it. Let us (my other roommate and I) know you're alive periodically and we're happy to give you whatever space you need.

But six weeks is bordering on ridiculous. So am I to be concerned for her? Or just sort of shrug and move on? The problem is I get angry about it. Here I am trying to respect the needs of a person who doesn't see fit to speak to me. Being quiet in our creaky shower to not wake her up at 6am. Cleaning the bathroom for like three months straight because I figured she just had a lot on her plate.

The thing I've been struggling with is why it makes me angry. I don't get it. We're not really friends. We're roommates. I want her to be happy but I don't think it's my place to make her happy (not that she would want me to, or that I could). But still I'm upset wtih her..

So then there was this.. I only heard about it second hand. But it's so typical. And now I'm angry all over again.

edog: (in the kitchen)
her: (walks in the door) Hi!
edog: hey how are you?
her: good. so people DO actually live here...
edog: Huh? What're you talking about?
her: well, i never see anyone
edog: wellll, i imagine it's difficult to see people through a closed bedroom door.
her: yeah....well last night i had a bunch of stuff to do, so that's why i was in my room.
edog: and the rest of the past six or so weeks?
her: (silence)

Maybe it's like the ground hog. Six more weeks...

Update (7-13-06) - no such luck, she spoke, and I liked her better when she didn't.

Like a kid in a candy store

I didn't get home until about 10 last night. But when I did I saw that the tent and sleeping bag I ordered from EMS had come. YESSS!!!

I lasted about 1 minute before I had to climb in my sleeping bag to try it out. Then E wanted a turn. Sooo comfy.

Want to set up the tent in the living room?!

E was all about it. I think she's got the bug.

You have to take me camping now!

It took us a few minutes to figure it out, but then we didn't want to get out.

Maybe we could sleep here tonight.
Or in the back yard!!

There was a long pause while we both seriously considered it.

We better not. It's already almost midnight..
I guess...

After the initial "sweet, a tent!!" settled a little, I had a minute to really evaluate my purchase. I think I made a pretty good choice with this gear. I did quite a bit of research and picked the brains of all the outdoor store employees. The tent's a Big Agnes, Seedhouse 3-man Superlight. Just about the right size for two plus elbow room. And weighs just over 4 pounds. Pretty damn light for a 3-man, 3-season tent. My bag, coincidentally also by Big Agnes, weighs about 2 and a half pounds. Awesome.

My other sleeping bag is huge. Super warm but I can't even stuff that thing into my hiking pack. And I have a four man Wenger tent that probably weights 12 pounds. Great for car camping but not really practical for backpacking. I'll be flying up to Maine and camping when I go to my family reunion in August. That plus the huge sale at EMS made now a perfect time to buy some lightweight gear. But really any excuse will do.

:) Happy girl.

My Very Own Mary Poppins

My roommate E left this for me a couple of mornings ago. I found it on my way out the door and it definitely put a little smile on my face. (Thanks E!)

Be not the slave of your own past - plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, and swim far, so you shall come back with self respect, with new power, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and overlook the old.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Emerson is another one of those poets, or writers, that I consistently like. He and Thoreau write so simply and matter-of-factly. And even out of context their words carry a positive message with all the meaning and none of the drag-you-through-the-mud philosophy. A wonderful bite-sized serving of common sense. A spoon full of sugar to get my philosophy down.

If You Have a Moment

I highly recommend you read Desiderata by Max Ehrmann. I've loved it since I was little, but each time I go back to it I identify with something new. It is simply stated and less flowery than most poems. I think that's one reason why I love it so much. No reason to garnish something that is so purely beautiful. This part has been my lingering favorite...

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

A Humble Thank You

None of us are perfect. There will always be moments when life just seems too much to bear. And it's in those moments, when your world seems to have come crashing down around you, that you look through dazed eyes to see just how much those around you care for you. There they are helping you pick up the pieces and wade through the swampy waters of your mind. Or cheering you along urging you not to give up.

I am so grateful for those of you who are always there for me and I just want to say "Thank you". To all of you who don't complain even though you definitely have cause. To all of you who jump at the chance to help me put the world in perspective. To all of you who take my frustration and turn it into an action plan. To all of you who are always there to help me reason through things that I can't quite wrap my little mind around on my own. To those of you who are willing to just hold my hand while I cry and do anything you can for me. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

There will always be those Evil people. But with any luck we'll also come across those who will, knowingly or not, challenge us to become the person we are inside. And when life just seems too much to swallow, there are your friends. The glue that holds it all together and keeps the world turning.

The 12 1/2 hours of sleep I got last night is proof that I need you guys. I owe you each one. Probably more like ten. I'm not better but definitely on my way. You guys rock!!

Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod

I have been having extremely vivid dreams lately. The kind where I wake up and as I go through my day I feel confused that the things I dreamed aren't real. They feel completely real.

I dreamed I bought three houses with a friend, and that I was renting the houses out to tenants. It was strange to wake up wondering if they'd paid rent this month only to realize it hadn't happened at all. I dreamed that friends had emailed me, but then when I went to reply to their messages there were no emails. It's disorienting.

It's surprisingly not an pleasant feeling, more just strange because I so rarely remember my dreams beyond a fleeting feeling when I first wake up. But to think they are real on into the day is unusual.

Maybe it's my mind waking up and stretching out it's imagination. Maybe I need more B complex vitamins. Heh. I would say something like that.

I guess for now I'll just enjoy it.

The Beauty of Chaos

You think you've got it all figured out. You know what your goals are, you've planned your next step, and you're just waiting for the right moment to make the move. Then one day a butterfly in Japan flutters it's wings, and the next thing you know your life changes so dramatically you hardly recognize it.

Suddenly up is down, trivial becomes critically important, and so much of what you thought defined you gets tossed aside.

The winds of change have opened my eyes to a whole world of possibility. So rarely does it come in one gust. More often just in gentle breazes that slowly nudge you in one direction or another.

My heart aches with longing where yesterday it sat in contented familiarity. My sound sleep has become moonlit hours of "what if?" My carefully planned future has so suddenly lost all importance.

Could it work? Maybe. But more likely it will become an exercise in awareness. The world is so big. And you, little one, are faced with endless possibility. Don't limit yourself to only what you've seen. Don't close off the wonder of your imagination. Let your mind be open to the winds of change. Listen to them, be moved by them, grow with them.

I smiled today like I have not smiled in a very long time. So infectious was my smile that those around me smiled too and I was stunned by my pure happiness.

I can see light under a door I never knew was there. And it may not be a door meant for me. But now I know there's more, so much more than I ever let myself see.

Holy Lightening Batman!

I saw this episode of Batman once where he and Robin were hanging from a helicopter over the ocean and a shark jumped up and bit onto the rope. Batman said "here, use the shark repellant." I definitely could have used a little lightening repellant last night. The storm we had was crazy! It was like the lightening in 'War of the Worlds'. Okay, maybe not that bad. But intense.

It started as heat lightening, but then rapidly progressed. Before the rain came there was a cool breeze. That's when you know the storm's coming your way, low pressure. When the storm really got going there was a bolt every few seconds. The kind that burns into your retina so you can still see it after it's gone. The lightening started to hit pretty close, sometimes coming simultaneously with the thunder.

It was neat. But I also would have loved to sleep last night. It was so loud I was jolted awake every time a big bolt flashed or the thunder crackled. It sounded like a giant ripping through a forest uprooting trees and tearing them to pieces. I usually really enjoy thunderstorms, but an intense storm at night can be unsettling. We were definitely in the heart of the storm for a while because the hair on my arms would prickle every few seconds. Creapy.

Each time I thought the storm was moving away another huge bolt would strike with thunder right on its heals. I half expected to see those weird alien tripod things come walking by. Definitely surreal. Where's Tom Cruise when you need him??

My patella does what??

I finally went to the doctor for my knee. I've been off of it for more than a month now and the swelling has mostly dissapated. But it still hurts to squat or lunge, so there's definitely still some tissue inflamation. I was nervous when I went in but it turned out okay. I'm such a skeptic!!

"Take this anti-inflammatory, go to physical therapy, and see me in six weeks."

I was definitely grateful for her advice, but I probably won't take the drugs. She practically begged me to take them as though she expected me not to. "Athletes don't like to take drugs," she said. "That's because they are very in tune with their bodies and scrutinize everything they put in them," I thought. But I didn't argue with her.

I did a bunch of research. Turns out I'm already taking all of the anti-inflammatory drug alternatives as part of the vitamin program my mom put me on. My mom rocks!

And I may be a purist but I'm all about the physical therapy. I'll do exactly what they tell me as long as it's not "pump your body full of chemicals". I'll do exercises and ice ten times a day. But mostly I want to learn what's wrong with me and how to fix it, or at least manage it.

I've been once so far and I'm very encouraged. He identified what he thought was wrong with my knee and helped me with some stretches and exercises, and immediately following the session I could do a full squat with no pain.

"You're young. You should heal very well."

It's definitely far from healed, but I think we're on the right track. And he's awesome! He totally supports my choice to not take the drugs. He explains everything to me and I learned a lot just in the hour that I was there. "I love it when you talk joint alignment to me..."

Exactly Once

The number of times you'll let go of the halyard on a sailboat. Because then someone has to climb up the mast to retrieve it. Probably you. Following that shaky trip you'll be damn sure never to let go of it again.

The halyard is the handy little item that attaches to the top of the main sail and pulls it up to the top of the mast. Relatively critical in the whole scheme of things. Without it, sailing is really tough.

It's certainly not uncommon, and I suppose most people who've spent much time on a sailboat have gone up the mast at some point for some reason or other. But don't be envious. It is not a rite of passage. More like the mark of a careless sailor, if I can be called that. At least I got to do it at the dock on a calm day. And I had two belayers just in case. Who knew the rigging makes for such good top roping?

It was kind of neat, in the "wow, I hope I never have to do that again" sort of way. We made a harness, which was surprisingly comfortable. And then fashioned something similar to a prusik loop for each of my feet and one for my harness. They're friction knots. So we tied them around the mast and as I "walked up" I would scoot them each up. The one connected to my harness was a just a fail safe. But the feet loops were the working knots. I would put my weight in one, slide the other up, and transfer my weight to the other. Surprisingly effective. And if it weren't for the spreaders, I wouldn't have had to retie the whole setup. I was able to sit on the spreaders while I re-tied, though, which made all the difference.

Despite my little mishap it was a wonderful day. 10-20 knots of wind all afternoon long. We had the boat healed over almost the entire time. I love seeing S2H with that goofy smile on his face. I did forget sunscreen though. Man, it seems like it happens at least once every year. I was about to put some on and the wind picked up.. ooh shiny!!


I knew as soon as we eased the boat in the slip that I was burned. Ow.

So notes for next time.

1. Don't forget the sunscreen.
2. Whatever you do, don't let go of the halyard.

Nobody likes saying goodbye

This one's for you girl. I'm sorry it's too late.

I didn't really know you. But you seemed like a good egg. So we became friends. I think. I took a long trip to be there for you at a really cool time in your life. Tragedy struck. And I'll be damned if I didn't do everything I could think of to help you. And I came away from the whole experience with a few new friends and some awesome stories.

There were always oddities. But that's true of any friendship right? But then I started to notice things change. And things weren't the same anymore. And I was constantly reminded of that. But I tried to stick it out.

I tried to just go with the flow. Didn't work. I tried to suggest things. Nope, try again. I tried to just be your friend no matter what. Okay that didn't work either. I tried to flat out tell you what the hell was going on and offer anything I could do to help. Shot down HARD. So I stopped. I really just got tired of picking myself up. Every. Damn. Time. And when you try everything you can think of, and it still doesn't work, you try be happy knowing you did what you could. And you lay it to rest.

So that's what I did. I laid it to rest. And I'm pleased to see you have too. But I wanted you to know that I tried. And I don't really know what happened. The only thing that sticks with me is I wasn't good enough anymore.

So for whatever it is that I did to let you down, I wanted to say I'm sorry. And I wanted to say that I cared so damn much about you. I just couldn't fix it. I wish you the best in all you do.

It was fun while it lasted. Really fun.

Confession

In the face of temptation I offer a view into my heart, bare and honest.

My temptation is change. I desire a new place. I desire a new job. I desire something different. But my desirous soul does not get what it wants without sacrifice. My sacrifice is the donning of a label. I am jaded.

I worked on the Outer Banks as a parasail boat mate for two summers. My uniform was a bathing suit, my office a boat on the water, and my responsibility to talk to tourists and play with a parachute all day. By the second summer I was bored out of my mind. I appreciated the fact that I was on the water, but just couldn't bring myself to feel content.

I imagine myself sitting in a room, bored like a rebellious teenager forced to spend time with her parents, challenging the world. "Entertain me, I dare you to try". Immaturity is threatening to overtake me.

Now I work as a web developer. I have an amazing job. A variety of opportunities for experience and a fantastic boss. Guess what. I'm bored. Discontent. Frustrated. Once again, I can appreciate the position I'm in. A good paying job, challenging work, a great environment, and the promise of advancement. Who could ask for more? The girl that watches me in the mirror every morning. She just stares, silenty demanding more. How can she be so wearied by such luxury?

Is it instant gratification I'm after? To be good at something without trying? To be successful without the hard work? Sometimes I accuse myself. I scold myself for my fatique. My indifference. My lack of appreciation.

But I work. I wake each morning with new resolve and motivation. I fight a constant uphill battle to be successful. Productive. Happy. Who am I to expect perfect happiness and contentment? It must be earned.

This is my confession. And my resolution to begin again. To work harder. And to earn, not demand, the freedom my heart desires.

You know what they say..

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. So I guess when my coworker comes in dressed like me at least once a week, I should feel complimented. I think she secretly just wants to be me. Can you blame her?? She puts up this thinly veiled front like "I wore this because I thought you didn't have anything like it!!" Sure.. uh-huh. Just like last Wednesday? And the Friday before that??

Or perhaps I secretly want to be her.. Where did I put that brown striped shirt again?

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New and Different

I've been working all weekend. So to get out and offset spending a holiday weekend in the office, we took a trip out to Shenandoah National Park. I'd never been there before. It is so beautiful. Breathtaking views in all directions, and tons of deer.

I must have seen a hundred deer. They just stand by the road and watch you drive by. No fear what so ever. Not good, but it is what it is I guess. You can tell the city drivers. They drive 5 mph and stop dead in the road every time they see one. I can just imagine it "Look honey, a deer. Hey kids! Look!" Probably the same people that feed them and make them so tame. It's not the deer you have to watch, it's the damn city drivers stopped in the middle of the road watching the deer. Sigh..

The plan was to go night hiking so I didn't take my camera with me. Not really the best decision I've made this week. But I'll definitely be back, so I can take pictures next time.

This picture is from the Shenandoah Park Website. And actually it was pretty humid out yesterday so the visibility was about the same. I'll replace the pic as soon as I go back and take a few of my own.

So I'm sort of a scaredy cat. I was a little apprehensive about hiking through the woods at night. I mean, bears, coyotes, you never know what's going to be out there. But our night was absolutely uneventful in the danger category, and highly therapeutic.

It was just a short hike to test out the knee and get rid of my cabin fever. Probably 2.5 miles round trip. But it was awesome. We hiked down a trail that followed a stream. We listened to the water the whole way. The reason we chose that trail was the waterfall at the end. The path didn't really get close enough to see the falls. But we heard them. The hike back up was good exercise for my knee as well. Today my knee is really pretty normal. There's hope yet.

The very last part of our hike was down a small portion of the Appalachian Trail. We passed another hiker who remarked "that's not something you see every day" about meeting us on a trail at night. He was right. And it was sort of inspiring and comforting all at once. It's nice to know there are others that share your interests and posses that calm energetic quality that I think we all associate with the "outdoor" population. There's a certain romance to a lifestyle that embraces the outdoors.

Just before we got to the car we stopped to stargaze. It was a wonderfully clear night with not much moonlight providing perfect visibility. There were, of course, millions of stars, a few satellites, and then finally, the coveted shooting star. "okay, we can go now.."

It was probably 11pm when we started to head back. And to round out our adventure and accompany our 30 mile drive back out of the park, we picked up an interesting radio station. From the top of the mountain you pick up a huge variety of stations, many competing for the same frequencies. But the one we landed on was Dr. Drew (from MTV's Loveline) and Adam Corolla (from the original Man Show). People call in asking questions and making comments. It's the weirdest of the weird, but highly entertaining. Last night was unofficially "I'm attracted to transvestites" night. I mean, after an awesome hike, a beautiful night, and some stargazing, you sort of just say "well, I suppose.."